Are you a decision maker?
“Maturity comes with the acceptance of responsibility.” – Dr Edwin L. Cole
Have you ever come across some people who seem to perpetually live in a state of confusion? They seem to love saying, “I don’t know, I’m just so confused…” They relegate themselves to a position where the circumstances around them are in control of what they do. Some even want to have their friends tell them what to do and until someone tells them, they don’t do anything. These people abdicate their role in their own lives to be proactive. They allow other people to build and shape their lives. Unfortunately their lives are often shaped in the wrong way for them and built too small to mean anything. It is a sad scenario, yet so common today. “Man will do anything in his power to avoid thinking.” – Earl Nightingale
A state of indecision where one is not decisive whether to do this or that is referred to as ambivalence. The amount of time an individual spends in a state of ambivalence is wasted time. It is a static phase that very often is the result of one particular phobia: Fear of failure. Franklin D Roosevelt once said, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” “Feel the fear and do it anyway.” – Susan Jeffers.
I once had a conversation with a very successful man and I asked him what he would attribute his phenomenal success towards. His answer included the statement, “I am not afraid of failing.” Is it not only logical that those that are not afraid of failure are the ones that attempt over and over again? Is it not logical that the more times you try the more likely you are to come across a winning solution? It is the pure law of probabilities. Nothing ventured, nothing gained!
There is a way of reducing the burden of decision making that will probably cut out a significant portion of the decisions one makes. When you make a set of pre-determined decisions life can be much simpler. For instance, I have made up a decision that I am a Christian. That means there are a lot of decisions I do not have to make at all because the options are not consistent with the lifestyle of a Christian. I do not have to crack my head thinking whether or not I should swindle the next guy or not; whether or not I should give back the excess change I get from the till operator in the shop; or whether or not I should use the next guy even though I know he will lose out in the deal we are getting into. Decisions like getting married to the person you say you love should mean you no longer have to decide whether or not you should also have a separate affair with another person. There are many decisions you can make that will come with sets of pre-determined decisions.
Winners have this quality in common: they are strong decision makers. Sometimes the only way to know the best decision is to make a decision. I do not agree with the statement that says, “The journey of a thousand miles starts with a step,” I am convinced it starts with a decision. If it started with a step, it would not be a successful journey because it would be a journey to an undefined destination. Success is the progressive realization of a predetermined worthy ideal. The decision is the predetermination stage. It is the part that Stephen Covey calls the Second Habit of Highly Effective People: Begin with the end in mind.
The absence of decision power leads to a life full of blame shifting and buck passing. It produces a people devoid of the power of responsibility. Remember, maturity does not come with age but with the acceptance of responsibility. Look closely at the word responsibility. It is response + ability, i.e. the ability to respond. When you have to consult with your friends before you make any decision, you lack the ability to respond. This is called external sorting. Powerful leaders sort internally. They decide with an internal frame of reference. Where ever there needs to be a consensus first before a decision is made, the quality of the decision is reduced to the mental strength of the weakest person in the group. Leaders are put in place because of the quality of their decisions.
Affirmation: I am a decision maker. I take responsibility for my life and what happens around me. I am not afraid of failing.
To view other posts by Tinei visit www.tinei.bravejournal.com
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I get you Tinei, but sometimes you make a DECISION not to do certain things and circumstances FORCE you to. Like changing money on the parallel market. No one wants to be against the law, but people do it because it’s the only way out.
There’s the story on this blog today about the man with HIV whose wife is no longer talking to him. Goodness knows what else she is denying him. She made a DECISION to love him come what may- but how could she have forseen this?