Did they offend you?

October 29, 2008 by Tinei ·
Filed under: Inspire & motivate, Spirituality for such a time

“He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; And he that ruleth his spirit, than he that taketh a city.” – Proverbs 16:32

Once I spoke to a certain gentleman. He was relating an incident to me and he came to the part he wanted to emphasize one of his qualities. “I am very short tempered Mr Shamu,” he said. “I have a short wire.” He seemed to be bragging about it. I wondered if he would list this under his virtues. I’m sure he is not the only one who believes it’s a good quality to be desired in any leader. Some take pride in their outbursts (my wife calls this ‘blasting’). They blast someone and they feel they are on top of the world. Who would you rather have as a friend? One who takes offence easily and blasts people, or one who is calm, controlled and full of joy? I think the latter is a better friend and we all should strive to be the good friend.

Offence is often taken rather than given. If we develop a mental syntax that can sort information in a certain way when we receive it, we can in reality live without easily getting offended. Emotions are often a result of certain syntax, or as some would like to put it, the result of an evaluation. The ABC theory states that an incident takes place (stimulus) (A), then we evaluate it (B), and then it results in an emotion (C). The emotion is a direct result of the B part, evaluation. Some put it as the equation E+R=O. Event plus response produces the outcome. If the event is the constant and the response is variable, that means we are directly responsible for taking or not taking offence. Anger therefore is a result of the way we process events rather than the events themselves. Are you prepared to accept responsibility for the times you were filled with rage over something someone did to you?

The Kingdom of God is right thinking, peace and the joy of the Holy Ghost (Romans 14:17). An offended person is often not thinking right, not at peace and definitely not in the joy of the Holy Ghost. In other words, he/she is not in the Kingdom of God (at that moment). If not in the Kingdom of God, where are they? Every time I read the Synoptic Gospels I wonder how Jesus managed to maintain His cool while the Pharisees and Sadducees and scribes asked Him all those terrible questions. I discovered that Jesus knew exactly who He was and therefore His syntax was always correct. If someone told you that you have a demon and you knew you definitely can not have a demon, would you be offended? You are not likely to be. It is like someone said you were of a gender you are not, or they called you by the wrong name. You would just know that they do not know you well. When people talk me down I often say to myself, “They don’t know me at all” or “They don’t know me yet.” That is often sufficient to direct my energy on something more worthy than anger and ‘blasting.’

Emotions like anger put you in less resourceful states. They stop you from making sharp decisions, coming up with good ideas, hearing from God, blessing other people, and many other desirable things. If you stay angry for long enough, you develop bitterness, then hatred, then before long you are operating in the realm of the devil, manipulating and controlling people (that by the way is the definition of witchcraft). In that state, you waste time and you waste your own health. Some people almost brag about their blood pressure when talking about people that frustrate them. It’s not a desirable place.

Ever noticed how angry people walk with their head pushed forward and their arms slightly drawn to the back? Muscles are toned and the face has a frown? An interesting truth is that in as much as anger causes that to happen to your physiology, changing your physiology will also reverse the emotion! Try smiling and standing with legs apart and relaxing your muscles and see if you can still be angry like that. Try even to just burst out in laughter even though nothing is funny and see the results. If it is some person who made you angry and their words keep replaying in your head, make the picture quality of the memory (in your mind) less colorful, lower down the volume and see them as from far away. Keep taking them far until you can hardly see or hear them. That often calms the emotion very quickly.

Affirmation: I choose not to empower other people’s weaknesses by investing my emotional energy into them. I choose right thinking, peace and the joy of the Holy Ghost!

Tell the world: