The “Dear John” letters
Dear John
I hope this finds you enormously irritated and above all curious. I am writing to let you know that nothing has changed and nothing will change and by jove I still do not like you. You however have something that belongs to me and I would very much like it if you gave it back to me. I dont care if you were using it and it has become part of you and all such nonsense , I want it back. Its my heart and I need it. By now you should have received yours back (I mailed it a week ago, ref number 249294) if its damaged claim from insurance as the postal service said it was covered. Please return my heart in one piece so i can get to the business of loving somebody else. I am prepared to fight for it so please just dont let it come to that.
waiting anxiously for what’s mine
Jane
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